My name is Myrtle Schmergle and I'm
originally from New York City where I worked as a professional
exotic dancer. One day a very attractive gentleman came into
the club while I was onstage dancing. He came over to the
stage, gave me a $100.00 bill, and told me I was going to
be contacted by an extraterrestrial, and then left the club.
I got very excited because I thought I was going to be hired
to dance on a spaceship, which would really prepare me for
auditioning in Las Vegas.
Well, nothing happened until the following week. I was at
home in my bathroom hand-washing one of my g-strings and suddenly
out of nowhere, Godess Galactica stepped out of my bathtub.
I was a little taken aback but very impressed by her outfit.
I said to her, "Oh you must be the extraterrestrial who
wants me for the dancing gig!" She said, "Since
you already dance in the happy vibe, the fun vibe, the light
vibe, the love vibe, if you will be my earth contactee and
earth reporter for my live broadcasts, you will then dance
Who can top that on a resume? So here I am, Myrtle Schmergle
Earth Reporter for Godess Galactica!